Wednesday, February 23, 2011

be careful who you marry...

some days ago i found a group on facebook about germans in israel and posted on their wall. i got some tips by a german woman and it turned out that she is one of the cases you would like to be a lie!

a report in israeli tv about her (in hebrew).

she met a bedouin guy in a kibuzz near ein gedi and they had a long distance relationship over four years. he was an open minded man, who had lived in london and seemed interested in the world.

after four years she realized that she was pregnant and moved to israel.she agreed to marry her boyfriend to be accepted by his family. to do so she had to convert to islam, but this was only a formal thing.

some months later she found herself in a small flat mizpe ramon, her husband was either not there or violent.
and as she found out that he was married to another woman who also had a child with him she wanted divorce...

in israel however marriage and divorce is a religious thing only and the religious courts decide about what is going to happen. in her case that was the sharia. it is not even clear if she is married in a legal way because she is not registered anywhere and the marriage took place in a tent of the family.

when he threatened to kill her she took her two children (she got another one shortly after the first one) and went to a women's refuge. after six month she agreed to move back to the flat in mizpe ramon (her husband agreed not to live there and only to come to visit the children).

when she got back her husband (or other members of the family) watched her all day long. in this time he raped her several times and her third son was born.
she went to the police several times but nothing happened.

when her divorce was brought in front of the court she was not invited.
her husband got the right of custody for the kids and she is allowed to see them twice a week but her husband manipulates her children against her... she is not seeing them any more.

her third son still lives with her but her ex husband could take him every day...
here an article in german in the jüdische allgemeine

it is not a single case and being married to many women is quiet normal in the bedouin society. the woman who cleans r.s parents house once a week has given birth to 12 children of a man who has at least five wives.
many women who marry into this society are not aware of the consequences it can have...

when we where in sinai, we met a dutch woman who fell in love with a bedouin guy from that area. i was stunned how naive she was about their relationship! they lived on her savings and she had barely enough money left to fly back to europe and she was not really considering to go back...
she even gave him money for his friends and he never gave anything back...
i wonder what happened to her...

i am not saying that religious marriage or marrying into the bedouin society is a bad thing and i am not trying to attack anyone, i just want you to know what you are doing and how to do it so no one will regret it...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think that in the main cities, as opposed to Bedouin tribal areas things would be a little better. Certainly I hope so - rape is not unheard of, but tribal possessiveness hopefully is.

Still, if you are non-Jewish and non-Muslim, expect legal messes if you marry in Israel. It may be the religion of the children, custody that would favor the Jewish/Muslim spouse, inability to move the children out of the country, etc. etc.